The ride I went on Yesterday with Matt.

So I had to stop a couple times before I got to the top because I literally ran out of energy. I "bonked" as they call it in endurance sport lingo. Which means I had no energy left to push it and it takes everything you have just to keep going and you do.
I think if I hadn't gone on a long motorcycle ride the day before and maybe gotten a bit more food in me before I left and brought some nutrition with me other than one bottle of water, I could have made it to the top. So, now I am going to save up my legs and try again next week I think.
I went with my cousin Matt and he is in insane shape, he also had a trials bike which is much like a road bike so the gearing was a bit better as were the tires and many other factors. He literally could ride circles around me while I was riding. The gearing on my mountain bike allows a high cadence but a very slow speed. So, I didn't really move very fast.
This ride really makes me want a road bike so that Atlas Peak Rd and other such rides would be more fun than painful hehehe.

Personal Bests @ The Gym

1 Mile Sprint 
7m 56s
This is after a 1 hour circuit of weight training doing back and chest so I'm proud of that. Thats my first time ever getting a mile in under 8 minutes too. Next marker 7 min 30 secs I can do it soon I know it.

Then I did a spin class with my cousin Matt. And I saw my homie Lea Wilson in the class with us and we all got our butts kicked for about an hour I think. I really am not sure because I lost track of time hehe. But I think it's about an hour of spinning.

Then my weak point is the swim; I have never been able to do 3 laps in a row without stopping before. My max was 2 laps. But as of today I am now at 3. Then I continued to do hypoxic sprints with my cousin Matt for 20 laps. We did those till I was literally blue in the face and then kept going. HEHEH

I am kinda tired but so happy to be back in the gym kickin my ass. There was 4 days there where I ate like crap and didn't do any exercise at all. So this was exhilarating and very satisfactory.

Thanks Matt for the rides to the gym all the time. This is the best I have felt in years!

In a state of...

...constant struggle for my own mind. I am reading this book most of you have probably heard of, it's called "The Power of Now".  As I turn through the pages I feel sanity in letting go of thought. I have always known these ideas within this book, I just never have had the courage to apply them. I am really understanding the importance of spending time in a place that is not attached to this world, or "meditating" as most would prefer to call it. It allows perspective to remove yourself from the physicality side of life.

I have been so sluggish with my progress within the physical realm. Someone on the outside looking in would likely find me a lazy and unproductive person. Which I would actually agree with. Motivation is not something I have had for a long time. I believe due to the past events in my life I had given up inside.  I have been a beaten dog so long that when there was no one to beat me, I beat myself. There will be no more of that. I am tired of causing pain in myself, and I am tired of causing pain in others.

People probably don't see it, but I am doing a tremendous amount of work on myself and my psyche. I know that so many things are just distractions on this planet, I know that what most people think I should be doing I will not ever do. 

I am done working for people with no passion. I am done living to work. I want my work to be MY passion. I need it to be that way. And society NEEDS me to be that way. I have a great many things to offer. I have given you my back, I have given you my hands, I have given you my mind, and I have given you my heart. I have but one thing left to offer you and that is my soul. I will keep it for myself but I will share with you who we are, by sharing with you who I am.

No more allowing my mind to dictate what I will do with myself. I will now tell my mind what to do, I will now let my BEING become I. I am not my mind. My mind has gotten out of control and it's time to take life back.

I think at the end of my blogs I may start just writing out a thank you to people I love that may have given me strength or been a person who has brought on the thoughts contained in the blog...

So here we go:

I love and appreciate you Jason, Patty, Matt and Keaton. Oh, and of course Eckhart Tolle for writing such a wonderful book.