In a state of...

...constant struggle for my own mind. I am reading this book most of you have probably heard of, it's called "The Power of Now".  As I turn through the pages I feel sanity in letting go of thought. I have always known these ideas within this book, I just never have had the courage to apply them. I am really understanding the importance of spending time in a place that is not attached to this world, or "meditating" as most would prefer to call it. It allows perspective to remove yourself from the physicality side of life.

I have been so sluggish with my progress within the physical realm. Someone on the outside looking in would likely find me a lazy and unproductive person. Which I would actually agree with. Motivation is not something I have had for a long time. I believe due to the past events in my life I had given up inside.  I have been a beaten dog so long that when there was no one to beat me, I beat myself. There will be no more of that. I am tired of causing pain in myself, and I am tired of causing pain in others.

People probably don't see it, but I am doing a tremendous amount of work on myself and my psyche. I know that so many things are just distractions on this planet, I know that what most people think I should be doing I will not ever do. 

I am done working for people with no passion. I am done living to work. I want my work to be MY passion. I need it to be that way. And society NEEDS me to be that way. I have a great many things to offer. I have given you my back, I have given you my hands, I have given you my mind, and I have given you my heart. I have but one thing left to offer you and that is my soul. I will keep it for myself but I will share with you who we are, by sharing with you who I am.

No more allowing my mind to dictate what I will do with myself. I will now tell my mind what to do, I will now let my BEING become I. I am not my mind. My mind has gotten out of control and it's time to take life back.

I think at the end of my blogs I may start just writing out a thank you to people I love that may have given me strength or been a person who has brought on the thoughts contained in the blog...

So here we go:

I love and appreciate you Jason, Patty, Matt and Keaton. Oh, and of course Eckhart Tolle for writing such a wonderful book.